My Bestie landed a job in California, invited me to come out anytime. I had the opportunity to get out of my lease. Even to transfer my job. But I was distracted. See around this time I had fallen in love (as you may notice this tends to be a continuing distraction for me). This was that future-life-together kind of love. The I-believe-I’ll-never-be-with-another-man-again kind of love. We had been ring shopping together. We were looking at apartments together. I was going to take the opportunity to get out of my lease, but not to move to California; to move into a condo downtown with him. “Once we get our apartment together I’ll start coming to California, I plan on living there part-time.” I naively explained to my Bestie. Looking back, that would have never worked. I was reaching a crossroads once again in my life where I needed to decide between following my dreams, or being in love, and whether I realized it or not at the time, I was choosing Love.

Then things started to get rocky in the relationship. It also started to become clear how starry-eyed my plans of a life split 50/50 between Atlanta and California truly were. Was I making the right decision to stay? To choose him over California. Would I be content having the love of my life even if I didn’t live all of my dreams in life? I had this conversation over margaritas with my closest girlfriend. She could also relate to my plight of whether to chase the love or the money, yet neither of us knew the answer. I went home and prayed about it, asked God to show me what I needed to see and to guide me to the right decision. And, just like he has done for me so many times in the past, God showed me my answer. A few weeks later, approximately 2 months before our anticipated move-in-together date, it came out that he had a second house…. with a wifey and kids. A whole other life I knew nothing about.

Heartbroken and all I was back to my original plan: Get to California. Follow my dreams. Yet still, I was distracted. This time I had a free place to stay. A friend who had made the move from Atlanta to California and had a nice 3 bedroom townhouse. I would have my own room in exchange for helping him out with his business part-time. I only needed to buy my plane ticket. Still drowning in my emotions and in disarray from the humility I had recently faced my distraction this time was partying. I needed to focus on the money so I could execute my plan to leave but instead I was blowing it to try to numb my pains. I went out a lot, partied a lot, drank even more. I remember having my plane ticket money in hand and going to the club, blowing it all. I did this on more than one occasion. The Love was no longer stalling me from Cali, but the Pain was.

Something changed unexpectedly. I started to climb out of my depression and get back to myself. As it always does, the light at the end of the tunnel started to shine through and I got back on track. I got back to making money and enjoying life. Things were looking up and I was happy, but still distracted. This time it was the happiness. You see, when I left Tuscaloosa there was nothing good there for me. No friends, no happy life, nothing but pain and misery. In Atlanta however, I was living the dream life I worked so hard to obtain– correction, the life I hadn’t even dreamed I could have. A life I never knew existed until now… and I was going to leave all that behind? For a chance? A hope? A prayer? I got scared. It was too much to give up.

Nothing went as I planned. The goal was to be in California by August 2016, by my birthday. That birthday was spent with me still living in Atlanta. I was saving money, I was slowly taking the steps I needed to in order to leave yet I still had excuses. I needed to buy a new car, I needed to save more money, I was waiting until — happened and then I’d go. Distracted. As always, I was still distracted. My Bestie, who had extended the invitation for me to come visit, and I had fallen out and were not speaking. My option of the rent-free living expired as my friend ran into hard times and downsized his living arrangements. As the California Dream seemed to be slipping away from me again, God stepped in again….

That’s when things started to fall into place in a way that wasn’t always pleasant, but in a way where I had no choice but to jump back on my path. It started when an associate of mine, a Casting Director, called me for a potential role. This wasn’t the first time she had offered me a very nominal job such as this, yet this time they were filming in California. Surprisingly, I got the part and was on a flight to LA within a few weeks. All expenses paid, plane ticket, hotel room, a food allowance and even a check for my time which would compensate for being away from Atlanta. It wasn’t a long trip to California but it was one that no distraction, no excuse, could keep me from.

One month after returning from my California visit, I got a notification that the house I had been renting for the past 3 years had been sold. I had 90 days to move out. A few short weeks later I was gifted a plane ticket to San Francisco and an incredible friend took me to look at rentals. In those last few months of 2016 MY California transformed from a dream to a true possibility.