I’ve lived in Atlanta for years now, in a culture where Eating Groceries is widely discussed and (some) women have come to accept the fetishes of many Straight men encountered here. I’ve had numerous conversations with girlfriends who share their sex tales of penetrating men with toys, of him being into Ass Play, of him asking for things I would not expect a Man to ask for from a woman, but maybe another Man. I’m not passing judgement, I’m just saying I ain’t really with that. And while I have heard all the stories, I never thought I would encounter that myself. Not the type of Men I date. Not the Gangsta/Street/Hood/Masculine type I go for. Those types, they don’t play about their ass holes. (LOL)

Then, there was this one time on Tinder……

Yes, Tinder. That’s how we met. I have never been into Online dating but I started to hear all these stories about Tinder and I was curious. I signed up, and I actually liked the concept. It’s very to the point. Very much based on physical appearance. I like that. Call me superficial but the fact that we don’t even chat unless we find each other attractive is appealing to me. I matched with a few people, had a few conversations, but nothing exciting. I had went on vacation for a week and not opened the App for a few days but when I logged back in one of the guys I had been chatting with messaged me. He was glad to see I was back and wanted to meet up. He was attractive, but young. My usual Dope Boy type. He admittedly had a white girl fantasy and overall, I just wasn’t impressed.

I gave him the cold shoulder for a couple of weeks…standing him up for dates, not returning calls. But I was bored and never completely cut him off. Maybe I was stringing him along for my own amusement. One day he snapped on me. Went all the way off about me bullshitting and playing games with him. This instantly turned me on. I liked the Gangsta side. I let him come over. It was late at night. We smoked a blunt and had a drink while sitting in my bedroom. I think we both knew I was going to give in, at least a little, tonight.

***Fast Forward*** We’re both nearly naked laying in my bed. Sexy music playing in the background, drunk off the alcohol, ready for the climax of the night. I start caressing his dick. It’s fat as fuck and he’s hard as hell. I spit on it to lubricate my hand. I start jacking him harder. He pulls his boxers all the way off and lays back taking in the pleasure. I’m getting more into this. I’m between his legs, palm gripping his dick as I move it up and down, mouth near the tip constantly supplying more spit. He moans…. I want him to fuck me! Why hasn’t he stopped me and got on top yet?

“Go down a little further…” He mumbles under his deep breathes. I move my hand further down the shaft, to the base of his dick. I guess he wants me to stroke his entire dick….up and down, up and down. “Move your hand further down Babe.” He says more clearly but still with that sexy, raspy voice. I’m a surprised, but I think he wants me to pull his Balls while I jack his dick. That’s a little strange, but I’ve been with dudes before that like this shit… nothing new. I cup and lightly pull his balls with one hand while I keep stroking with the other. Damn it, I’m ready for him to take control. I don’t like doing this much work! He needs to just go on and cum so he can get back hard and fuck me. I’m getting bored, dazing off…. “Play with that Booty Hole Baby.”

 WHAT IN THE ENTIRE FUCK did he just say?

*Insert me laughing hysterically in his face.*

Hand job abruptly ended.

Sexy night over.

My fingers NOT entering any Booty holes.

Him leaving my house undeniably embarrassed never to be heard from again.

Tinder account DELETED.